teacher: alright fold your papers in half
entire class: hot dog or hamburger

wheatdealer:

celsisus:

When ur hair won’t listen to you and its a mess and ur just like ???? I grew you myself??? I gave you life and this is how you repay me??

is that how parents feel

Anonymous

im 13 and my boyfriend wants me to spend the night what should i wear

wxng:

asian:

.

decomfortable:

I want money

image

power

image

and glory

image

noobtheloser:

"Day four hundred and sixty three in captivity. I am crestfallen."


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rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

royalbloood:

*pulls out of wallet*

starsgosquawking:

uncaughtcriminal:

pervocracy:

cleolinda:

cinematicnomad:

apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad fuck” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.

I’m in on this feud and I have chosen my side.

MARA WILSON, YOU HAVE MY SWORD.

AND MY AXE

AND MY BOW

awwww-cute:

Today my boyfriend bought a label maker

ughjxnna:

OH MY GOD THIS CARD

Anonymous

My boyfriend says he's going to break up with me if I don't sleep with him. What's the kindest way to tell him to shove it?

edwardspoonhands:

©ID